epiphany

It's not that I was in love with her; it was that I was euphorically in love of what I could again experience, communicate, & have become. Finally realizing that you are happy with yourself & the fact that you are happy and able to communicate: such revelations are immensely freeing. For once not having to worry, yet not worry, about other peoples' feelings; because they cannot help but participate / share in bliss & happiness. If she cannot realize or accept; then that is not my fault. It seems that I have finally reached a point where I understand and accept myself unabashedly. For I did nothing to impress other than to be myself and with that I was euphoric. But the canvas is not the art. It is critical; but art must be created dually. 

such a moment and setting is to strive for. 

thoughts in winter

Why should I be sad, dour, and depressed; because I have happy memories? Should not past happiness be remembered fondly with an appreciation of one’s own mortality along with the satisfaction that one chapter in life’s book was magical above others? It indeed would seem that one variable in that equation changed, then sadness would be the outcome; but how dependent upon a single variable is a situation and happiness in and of itself? If anything, past happiness and satisfaction should illustrate that life is indeed magical and full of variables, situations, and forces that we can never plan for nor appreciate any more fully than in the present time. We can digest, analyze, and attempt to plan moments; but for what purpose?

            Life is a mystery and the beautiful thing about it is that multitudes of souls have gone before us and had almost identical experiences; relationships; and situations. However, no person or situation is or will be identical or repeatable; and to attempt to manipulate or recreate is folly. Our minds and our existences are that which drive us to be who we are and how we interact.

            Depending on your view: fortune and fate do not create all mentalities or approaches equal. This is likely a good thing; but can confuse in the relating and valuation of various peoples’ worth. One tenant I still struggle with is that no matter who the entity is, each of us has something to offer and some point or experience that is unique. Generalizations and rationalizations are necessary to maintain sanity and order; but life entails more than can be understood.

            How one attempts to understand, digest, and interact with life and its ultimate end is the question that begs. An open view has advantages along with the burden of accepting the weight of life’s inputs while the closed view creates sheltered comfort at the expense of potential life-beautifying experiences and contacts.

            In the continued ingestion, interaction, and investment with my surroundings, I will continue to struggle with perspective, balance, and meaning. My only hope is that I am able to contribute to others experiences and living moments as much as I take from those with whom I directly or indirectly interact. 

truesday - 29 july 08

hello tuesday.
hello self.

S: it seems that today is just another in the routine of mid-summer. it is past holiday and early vacationing time and still not quite yet festival and late summer time. if dogs had days I reckon that such days would be these.

T: what do folks do then?

S: wake, work, limit productiveness, sweat, and soldier on. (and apparently really crazy masochistic people move)

T: that doesn't sound like too much fun.

S: quite right, unless one finds fun in relaxing and the oppressive slowness of tropical living.

T: so how do folks get motivated to do things?

S: they don't. that's the point. this is the time for wandering, lounging, and un-ambitiousness.

T: what should we do today then for fun?

S: rough plan activities and then set forth.

T: do tell; what's the plan then?

S: leave work, ride up to something fun & indoors for post work interest: looks like the blanton has a new exhibit of Japanese woodblock prints called the floating world (till 5). perhaps find a nice shaded patio (dog & duck) or cozy establishment (tx chili parlor / opal divine's ) and read while relaxing over a pint. or depending on similar minded folks' turn-out, then lounging conversation and stories of summer productiveness, or the lack thereof. and there's always the chance for live evening music as well: antone's has some women blues as well as other usual venue's music assortments.

T: not half bad.

just a bit of change

well, here we are again.

i've pretty much let go the random narratives of introspective blog posting and random updates as it takes just a bit more time than i tend to have in a day. i do enjoy the freeing random musings; but since life's happenings trend towards the routine on a micro scale but change drastically if looked at in a long view, its hard to write fresh and about things of interest.

so since april: i was able to take excellent trips to DC and the derby in louisville. my 30th birthday was celebrated throughout the week with various activities and relaxings. valerie and i decided to relegate our relationship from 'couple' to 'friends' which now leaves me in the unusual state of singleness. i continue to look for challenging work opportunities that will be mutually beneficial and afford me a path to excel. also, it is summer (not technically, but it feels as such); my favorite time of year.

i'll likely be relating through facebook and my flickr page (via photos). but who knows? i could always update this page every once in a while...

ABC spectacularness

If you're going to blatantly ignore issues; at least go the route of interesting character questions.

LINK

My view and notes:

Journalism and ABC News: I was under the impression that the goal of such debates was to provide moderated discussion of issues. It seems that what I view as journalism has been usurped by sensationalistic questions, echo chamber reverberations, and apparent gotcha topics whose issue-based ties can only loosely be interpreted as 'character-orientated'.

Such avoidance of actual issues that will affect the citizenry of our great country (for approximately half of the allotted debate time) reinforces my sad realization that ABC News is no longer in the business of journalism, but entertainment and marketing. I understand that the 20 preceding debates have focused primarily on issues; which has allowed people further introspection on the candidates' stances beyond the written platforms put forth on their websites. I had hoped that events which have transpired since the latest debate (Senate hearings on the Iraqi surge, the Bear Stearns bailout, commodity and gas prices) would be discussed. Unfortunately those who chose the questions decided that we the people are not intelligent enough for such important discourse (or perhaps that the issues are not weighty enough to debate?). It seems that ABC and the media in general have left their journalism roots and news credentials at their desks and embraced the entertainment and 'high energy' controversy (no matter how contrived) in order to drive ratings. I must conclude also that ABC's family of companies and sponsors condone such base discourse as opposed to upholding the journalistic charge of their profession.

Such facts lead me to a point of sad realization. I did not think that such a negative re-branding of a company (ABC) or sector as a whole (political media coverage) was possible before last night. I now realize that in our new world of communication there are fewer and fewer people and organizations that strive to uphold the reporting of news, the proliferation of honest debate, and the critical analysis of issues and candidates' stances.

I frequent blogs, opinion pages, and columnists to stay abreast of gossip, talking point, conjecture, and sensational items; but I had hoped that journalists and news organizations would focus on finding the facts behind such topics and reporting them rather than bringing them into the framework of a debate.

Alas, I will now move forward by placing ABC News and her affiliate companies into the category of sensational entertainment and duplicity. I do not know how the company would be able to regain my trust and respect; but it would take a great effort and a lengthy amount of time. I can only suggest that those in production meetings who pushed for focusing on actual issues and stressing the imperative view of an evenly moderated issue-oriented debate be elevated in their responsibilities and respect. Conversely, those moderators and production managers who pushed for sensationalistic questions and media-focused introspection should be marginalized in their responsibilities and duties.

Journalism has its responsibilities and charges; more weighty than most professions. The facts are that ABC News and other purported news organizations are the primary conduit for informing the populous of the views, issues, and detailed policies of candidates for all political offices (even of more importance when it comes to the highest office in the land).

I rarely if ever write to comment on issues but felt compelled to inform you all of my opinion. Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings.

Regards,

Jeff Scott

a comic

the current mortgage crisis explained best

sxsw

saturday fun

austinist rundown

sxsw - time for weekday fun

daytime wednesday free shows

Austin - Long Center

finally a close new art-specific venue that's separate from UT.

open house this weekend

just another reason

Obama in Beaumont, TX

reading for fun

happenings

so thanksgiving vacation was wonderfully adventurous and fun. there's nothing like camping under old-growth redwoods and hiking the vast forests, rivers, and coastlines that comprise northern california.

now its back to a too-busy routine of pre-holiday events, deadlines, and activities. pictures should increase / continue once a new camera is acquired. other than that, life progresses.

good times

so i passed the LEED examination this past friday and now get to call myself a LEED AP

after a good friday of celebrating, there was soccer tournament saturday where we kept true to form and played down to inferior competition; drawing two games before dominating the last (1-1, 0-0, 5-2) which earned us second in the division, but left us one point short of advancing to the next round. of course that would have meant two more games on sunday, so perhaps it was for the best.

now that studying and test taking are done, its time for thanksgiving trip preparation: Redwood National Park!! so most of yesterday was sifting through post flooring boxes and unearthing camping gear, warm weather clothes, and travel items. most fun will shortly be had. now its just finishing up a weeks' worth of work by tomorrow afternoon and then off for adventure.

i'll do my best to explore thoroughly and take sufficient photos to document random events.

ciao,

jeff

with wind comes a front

so one more day until the home flooring is complete - and it is excellent. so much so that i have forgotten all previous abstractions of the space (which is a good thing).

tomorrow i have committed to take the LEED test in order to become an 'accredited professional'. the program is a good comprehensive design with positive economic sustainable points layered with environmental foundations under the auspice that people are bettered throughout. the good thing is that i get to find out the results immediately afterwards; unlike having to wait 4 months as with my PE exam (although the PE does carry much more weight).

other than that i must recommend the following NYT Magazine article on Daniel Day-Lewis; an excellent piece on all fronts: the prose of the article, the subject, and the quotes contained within.

amazing as it is, next week is thanksgiving. i guess i should begin to plan in more detail my California vacation? perhaps even pack a little...

another late summer weekend gone (and in november none-the-less). lots of outdoor adventure: lakeside lunch / happy hour on friday; evening kickball; then saturday UT football tailgating. sunday brought gold and soccer adventure (our second win in which i played quite well).

hopefully flooring will be complete today and i can get in a good amount of studying for friday's leed exam. and then next week is thanksgiving holiday camping trip. amazing it all comes so fast.

so the great flooring project of '07 is almost done - hurray indeed.

i'm excited to see the complete bamboo in all of its glory and of course to redistribute all my stuff out of its 'very large pile' format. it's kind of exciting.

so that should be this weekend and then the remainder will be the usual outdoor fun; work studying; and musical enjoyment.

oh - and if you're interested, watch Austin City Limits on Saturday night for the Arcade Fire taping that I was able to attend: one of the best live shows i've ever seen. you can see a summary of it here.

so good changes finally. not quite yet in the ideal job front; but finally on the condo. bamboo flooring repairs will commence this week and hopefully be complete by next. should be a great new look (finally). it is odd how one acclimates so well to ones' surroundings. i guess it is a human evolutionary nature to be comfortable and conform to a home; no matter how inconvenient or old certain things become (long after they should be replaced). a good topic to explore later in full.

this weekend's fun included soccer games; an excellent oktoberfest party; more soccer; AND a hoa meeting where we finally chose a new property management company to replace our current ineffective / unresponsive entity.

should be a busy holiday week of fall transition.

cheers,

jeff

so close

so camping was excellent as always. although camping in such proximity to a vehicle always has that lack of 'pure isolation' feeling. take a look at the flickr page for photo evidence of hill country journeys.

elsewhere, work continues to go; new work is still out there, yet appears to be an elusive creature. soon enough i hope.

this weekend is the official fall celebration: oktoberfest, halloween, and the triumph of cool temperatures that allow fires.

i'm planning on making the family's famous german potato salad for saturday, which hopefully will offer great sustenance after playing two soccer games.

live pleasantly,

jeff

eh

well, it is the best time of the year. activities of outsideness with little searing sun but just the right amount of breeze. the ability to wear multiple types of clothes. transition foods and cooking; all the good things that make you want to be productive.

of course that is complemented by work and my continued inability to transition to a job where i can make a difference, challenge myself, and utilize the backpack of skills i've been acquiring. i'm planning on adding one more skill set (LEED accreditation) and then attempting to find a dynamic development position. hopefully something will come up; but after constant searching and evaluation i'm coming to the point of realizing that i might as well just do things myself. you know, throw on the mantel of entrepreneurial spirit and learn from some failures while achieving varying degrees of success.

i have come to realize that organizations and structures are not set up to excel, but to perpetuate; and there's nothing exciting or challenging about the predictable unless it is your passion, which even then can become rote.

so i think i'll have to put on my pants and stride out with a sense of running things instead of convincing people to let me join their team.

fun times as always,

me

need more postings!!

so much to do. opportunities everywhere and obligations about. that and change; some good things, some sad, some hopefull...

something i need to put on the schedule and buy:
illumination